Feet don't fail me

I can't take this anymore. My feet feel like 9,000 daggers are stabbing the tops. :( I'm making an appointment tomorrow, but I don't think I'll be able to get in until the 3rd when I have a training. I have heat packs on them now, and it helps a little...so it feels like only 6,000 daggers.

I was called to sub for volleyball again today. They were short manned...or really, short womanned. I was almost spent after the second game, but there was no one to take my place, so I gritted through it. Mr. Grumpypants was more like Mr. Sortasnarkypants today. He actually smiled, was encouraging the team a little and even gave me a compliment on one of my sets to him. Unfortunately, he did not get the ball over on said set, so almost with the same breath as the compliment, he says "It was such a good set, I didn't know what to do with it." Thanks for implying that every other set that I do, or anyone else does for that matter, is so sub-par that you have to make up for it. I told him "That was mean." He just laughed. Go ahead, Mr. Sortasnarkypants. Laugh. It's ok. I am self-confident and proud of who I am and what I do. I can recognize when I need to improve and try very hard to do so in order to be the best me I can be. If you need to be mean and laugh to feel good about yourself, you won't hurt me any.

We did win one game. It was very close and we kind of won by default. Basically, there is a 23 point cap to every game, and we won 23-22 only because we couldn't play that game any longer. Who knows who would have legitimately won that game if we would have had to win by 2 as usual.

I'm going to say 43 minutes of exercise today. With the 42 from yesterday, that makes 1 hour 25 minutes. Almost halfway to my goal for the week.

Extra exercise and a new week

So after I updated last week, I was invited to go dancing. So I did. I have no clue how long I actually danced. Let's say a half hour total. I was there two hours, but I did a fair amount of sitting and talking (and picture taking. I'm still not too pleased with the way I look in pictures, but at least I'm doing something about it now).



That makes 3.5 hours of total exercise last week. Yay for me!

I didn't exercise yesterday. I made sushi for two hour instead. It turned out ok, but not awesome. Not worth 2 hours of cooking. Today I tried a new 20 minute workout video, dance for abs, or something equally as appealing to the women-folk. It was ok. It's a video I could probably do one or two times more before losing interest completely. I just don't care once I've got the moves, you know? Luckily, there are a lot of free videos to choose from.

I also did the 22 minute yoga video again. For some reason, I don't get bored with it like the hip hop/salsa/belly dance/hula videos I've done previously. Maybe because it's not a routine to master, but just a series of positions to move through, no mastery involved. Ben occasionally comes in while I'm doing it and commented today that I seem to be getting more flexible. I actually noticed it, too. I also noticed that I didn't need 2 alley-oops to pull myself up from a flat back position, which I don't remember when the last time that was possible. :D

So, 42 minutes to start off this week.

Yoga madness

I did my last half hour of exercising that I needed just now. I did the 22 minute yoga video I've been doing (adding a little more difficulty) and then found another yoga video with some dude focusing on abs for 10 minutes. I did not like the one with the dude. He was not that nice to look at, and he did not vary the workout very well. If I wanted to do crunches, I don't need some surfer yoga instructor wannabe showing me how to do them. I really like the lady who does the 22 minute video. She varies the workout, is very encouraging and is easy on the eyes. ;)

That means I met my 3 hour goal for the week, a day early! Yippee!!

Weigh-in

I have a headache today. I'm giving myself a break and nursing it. Stupid ghetto grocery store chicken salad.

I did weigh myself today. 167.5 still. Mmmmmmmeh. (Did I drag that out enough to express my disappointment/begrudged acceptance?) I am telling myself that at least I'm not gaining. I'd Ike to see downward progress, though. We'll see what happens next week. The week after that I measure circumference. Hopefully something will change.

Mr. Grumpypants

I'll start with Mr. Grumpypants and work my way backward, since I titled my post after him. Volleyball tonight was ok. Mr. Grumpypants was not nearly as bad as last week, but still not very pleasant to be around. At one point between games he was giving everyone his version of a pep talk, telling us we needed to get our serves over the net if we wanted to win. Yes. Thank you. I was aware of that. Another team member flat-out said "Why can't you be more like Janine? She always stays positive." His response was that he was not pessimistic, rather just realistic. I said, "Well, the reality is that we can win." So there. Also, he was doing an awesome impression of Harrison Ford in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade...The Penitent Man Will Pass. Seriously, he kept dropping to his knees so he could set the ball from that physical position. Uh, no. If that wasn't enough, he wanted to play every position on the court at once and was quite literally running into people IN THEIR OWN SPOTS. The thing that pushed me over the edge was when we were in the front row next to each other, myself in the middle and him in front of the server. He asked if I wanted to switch to be on the end. I knew he meant after the serve. I said sure. Then, he proceeded to tell me that we switch after the serve. I said, "I know how to switch. Thank you." He said, "Well, you were just standing there looking at me." What did you want me to do? The server hadn't served yet. I made a statement last week that I had probably been playing volleyball longer than he has been alive. I retract that statement, as I saw him drinking beer today. That would make him at least 21 and I've only been playing 19 years. Still. How about you worry about your own insufficiencies on the court rather than pointing out everyone else's, Mr. Grumpypants?

So, volleyball lasted about 38 minutes, give or take. It was supposed to start at 8:30 and we were done by 9:15. But, I don't know when we started *exactly* and there were a few minutes in between games, so I'll round down to 38 minutes. You'll understand why 38 in a minute.

Wait, there's more! I'm still working backward. :) I think I have yoga fever. I played the yoga video on TV again. It was really good. I pushed myself a little harder than yesterday. We'll see if I can keep it up. Ben has said he will do it with me once, but I have to play a video game with him. He contends that it will be Team Fortress 2, but that's not going to happen. Rock Band? Absolutely. Mario Party? Sure. Just Dance? Totally there. Team Fortress 2? Nope. WoW? Hell no. I hunted rabbits and that's as far as I'm going into that game. Anyway, I digress. It was the same 22 minute video, so I'd say that puts me at 60 minutes for the day (see, I told you 38 minutes would make sense eventually). That's a total of 2.5 hours, and it's only Wednesday. Rock on! I'm going to make sure I weigh myself tomorrow to see if any of this has made a difference. Fingers crossed! At the very least, I feel better. :)

Free on demand

I discovered free on demand fitness videos through the cable company today. Wow! I want for nothing!

I started out with some belly dancing basics. I've never had any formal belly dancing classes, but I think I can fake through it pretty well. The videos were moves I've always done naturally, with a few foot flicks and hand twirls. 22 minutes right there! I decided after I didn't make my exercise goal last week that I should probably increase my exercise time to 45 minutes instead of 30. I can handle an extra 15 minutes. So, with the belly dancing videos, I was 23 minutes shy. I found a yoga video for 22 minutes and decided that was close enough. I've been interested in trying yoga, but not exactly comfortable going to a public class since I know less than nothing about it. I figured trying it at home by myself was the best alternative. Well, it was then that the cable decided to throw a tantrum and play 10 seconds and freeze. I was finally able to get through 8 minutes of it. I'm going to try again here in a few minutes, but if that is all I can do today, I'm ok with that. I'll pick it up somewhere else. ****UPDATE**** I was able to get through the rest of the video. I'm now at 90 minutes of exercise for the week.

Subbing for volleyball again tomorrow. Let's hope Mr. Grumpypants gets up on the right side of the bed. Might not be able to weigh myself until Thursday. We'll see.

Good news and bad news

I'll start with the bad news. There's two things. First, I only exercised 2 hrs last week. I took Friday off, and Saturday and Sunday were very busy and I didn't get to it. Second, I ate some sixlets and a cookie today. Willpower sad face.

Good news time! I went to zumba at the gym today. I could only get through 45 minutes, though (that part probably belongs with the bad news, but it's more reality than disappointment). My feet were just not having it. Ben has been on me to try the cortisone shots again. But, they hurt like a mofo, are flipping expensive and are inconsistent in how often they work. I can't believe I'm actually considering it. I keep remembering when they actually did work and how blissfully wonderful it was for 2 weeks to be a normally functioning human being again. It is just so frustrating knowing I'm capable of doing more, if it were not for my feet.

Enough of that, more good news. I bought stuff today for several of the healthy recipes I'm trying-- stuffed tomatoes, pita pockets, and the chicken salad recipe I'm excited about. Though, go figure, lite mayo is actually healthier than the garlic dressing. So, I got poppyseed instead.

I forgot to weigh myself at the gym. :( I'll make sure to do it tomorrow instead. I think I'll do circumferences once per month, so I've got a few weeks to update that.

Ta-Ta for now!

Mus-kles

I lifted weights today. Ben and I had a date to work out; it was his idea!

My feet were still hurting from yesterday, so I figured weights would be the best course of action, especially since the fitness center here doesn't have any upper-body cardio machines. What is up with that??? I did 3 sets of 10 reps on each machine. On the deltoid machine I did 20 lbs, on triceps I did 35 lbs, on the hip extenders (both in and out...possibly my second favorite machines after the leg press) 60 lbs, on the biceps 20 lbs and on the pectoral machine 35 lbs. Not too shabby.

Oh, and I also weighed myself: 167.5, which is 2.5 lbs down from the last time I weighed myself. I'm not going to get too excited because I know my weight fluctuates A LOT, so I'm going to wait until I see a downward trend to get excited. But, I'm going in the right direction!

I got some chicken salad again today for lunch. I recoginze this is probably not the best food option with the mayo, but I laid in bed last night coming up with chicken salad recipe options that would make it a little healthier. I think I may have found a viable option in Ben's favorite salad dressing (for the piles and piles of salad that he eats...lol)--creamy garlic from La Rosa's. I'd probably put some green olives, black olives, celery, sliced baby carrots and diced cucumbers in it. It already sounds good and I've never eaten it!

A walk and a volleyball

Yesterday our cable/Internet randomly stopped working. It wasn't the storm, because it worked up until around 6'ish and then stopped. So, I couldn't update yesterday. I took the dog for a walk around the neighborhood. It was nice, and she loved it. We walked for 25 minutes. I probably could have stretched it to 30, but I wasn't sure if a side street was a dead end or not, so I didn't take it. It was not, and it would have given me a few extra walking minutes.

Technically, my goal yesterday was to make better food choices. I had a salad for lunch. It was a crappy salad. I was unimpressed. But, I continued my goal today and had a chicken salad croissant and 2 hard boiled eggs (with 4 eggs left for other lunches, yay!).

Today, Ben had research to do for school and couldn't go with me to the gym. I had laundry to put away anyway, so I was going to exercise at home today (leg lifts, crunches, upper body cardio, etc). Then, my sister got home and said her volleyball team was going to be short a player, they had a double header and could I be a sub. Hell, yeah! I ended up only playing 3 games of the six. They had an extra person show up and I let him play the second 2 games. Then, I subbed in the first and third games of the second match. I sat out the second game because my foot was starting to hurt.

There was a dude on the team whose attitude needed a major adjustment. He would roll his eyes, sigh and throw his shoulders around any time someone else messed up. Sometimes, he would even grant them a condescending remark. But, of course, HE was Olympic team material and anytime HE messed up, it wasn't a problem. Well, until the second match when he started messing up more. Then he would throw little mini tantrums. I decided to cheer and be extra supportive of the team to try to offset his negativity. The team morale did suffer because of him, but I'd like to think not quite as much as it would have otherwise. I even made a point to aim motivational messages at him when he was throwing his tantrums. So there, Oscar the Grouch (but that's an insult to Oscar).

I'd say total I played 35 minutes, if each game lasted 10 minutes and practice time. I'm at an hour and a half for exercise this week now. Getting there!

Since I was about to make dinner when Sara proposed going to volleyball, I didn't get a chance to eat before we left. I went to the grocery store later and got some tomato soup and cheese I can actually eat to make grilled cheese. Yummy. :)

That's all she wrote!

In a heartbeat

I went exercising with Ben today. I wanted to do an hour, but only did a half hour.

I weighed myself first--170. Grrrr face.

I was on the elliptical and did, officially, 2.25 mi in 30:30. Not awesome, but not too bad, either. Really, that's about as good as I did at cross country when I first started doing it in high school. Granted, running on an elliptical and running on a cross country course are hardly comparable, but I did it nonetheless.

Ben was worried about me pushing myself too hard. First of all, it was noticeably warm in the fitness room at the gym. Considering we're all in there sweating while exercising anyway, I'd consider that a poor choice on the part of the staff. Second of all, I was challenging myself. I first challenged myself to run 100 meters at a half sprint in 30 seconds or less, 5 minutes into the workout. Unfortunately, I apparently cannot do math and exercise at the same time because I kept thinking 100 meters was the same as .10 miles. I realized my error and started fixing my calculations. I finally figured out that 100 meters was actually .0625 miles, which made .10 miles 160 meters. So, I really ran 160 meters in 30 seconds or less. Once I figured out the correct measurement, I tried to do .25 miles (400 meters) in 75 seconds. Yeah, that didn't happen. I did get it in 90 seconds, though. My last challenge to myself was at the end of the workout where I tried to do .125 miles (200 meters) in 45 seconds. That didn't happen, either, but it was close. I did .10 in 45 seconds.

Anyway, in the last two times I was challenging myself, I was running at probably 3/4 sprint. Not an all-out zombie apocalypse sprint....more like a chasing a Triumph player through the woods sprint (some of you will appreciate that reference). It, naturally, raised my heart rate. I have a high resting heart rate as it is--anywhere from mid-90s to 120s. When I started the workout, my heart rate was 161. The highest it got was 192. I was hydrating myself and being cognizant of my limits, as well as taking it really slowly after each increased speed. I knew I was spent after 30 minutes, so we called it a day. Hopefully my feet will forgive me, but they are still sore on the top where my nerve problem is, so that's probably asking too much.

Tomorrow is another day toward my goal of feeling better about myself. I think today was a good start.

New resolution

I played mud volleyball yesterday and other than getting a wicked sunburn on my back, I got my picture taken several times. It was not pretty, and I'm not talking about the mud. Every picture reminded me how much weight I had gained, and I finally got tired of looking at my "fatty fat ass" as I described it to Ben.

This is not the worst picture. Unfortunately, the others were not as close.
(Me, far left)

I have set goals for myself for the next week, both in terms of exercise and diet, and my plan is to meet or exceed them. I'm also going to reinstate my 3 hours of exercise incentive. In my goals, I have 3.5 hours planned, so if I stick to my goals, I will get some new undies. Also, I am working on reducing my portions (my biggest hurdle) and have looked into healthier recipes to cook for dinner. This will not be a diet. I want to change how I live my life so that I don't allow myself to gain more weight than I already have and hopefully lose pounds and inches. Right now, I am in the mid-to-high 160s and I am utterly ashamed of that. I am 42" around the bust, 41" at my belly button and 24" on my thighs.

I find it sort of sickening that the "perfect measurements" would have someone's waist as large as one of my thighs. I don't consider myself to be *that* fat to where I could house two ideal women's torsos in my legs. I'm not saying there is something inherently wrong with my body--sure, I need to get back to a healthy weight, but there are very few things WRONG with my body, TYVM--I'm saying that society is inherently wrong for expecting *women* (not girls, mind you) to be that emaciated. So, I'm going to change my lifestyle for me. Not for society, not to be like my skinny family, friends, coworkers or acquaintances, and not for my husband. (For posterity's sake, I want to make it clear that my husband is amazing and loves me no matter what size I am and thinks I am beautiful already...he had to crash a pretty big pity party when I saw those pictures, so I wanted to make sure no one thought he was pressuring me to lose weight. He is supporting me and will be exercising with me, but this is all me.)

We went walking for 20 minutes today. The workout week goes Monday-Sunday, so it won't count toward my goal, but I wanted to start working on my improvements today. I was going to mow the lawn tonight as well, but I've spent most of today nursing the sunburn and the little time I've spent with a shirt on has irritated it. I know I can legally go topless in Ohio as long as I don't cause a nuisance, but I think me mowing the lawn topless would create a considerable nuisance. So, the lawn will have to wait until my burn is less severe. Thank God for amazing husbands who slather aloe on their wives' backs every few hours, even when they have a law school paper due next week.