New resolution

I played mud volleyball yesterday and other than getting a wicked sunburn on my back, I got my picture taken several times. It was not pretty, and I'm not talking about the mud. Every picture reminded me how much weight I had gained, and I finally got tired of looking at my "fatty fat ass" as I described it to Ben.

This is not the worst picture. Unfortunately, the others were not as close.
(Me, far left)

I have set goals for myself for the next week, both in terms of exercise and diet, and my plan is to meet or exceed them. I'm also going to reinstate my 3 hours of exercise incentive. In my goals, I have 3.5 hours planned, so if I stick to my goals, I will get some new undies. Also, I am working on reducing my portions (my biggest hurdle) and have looked into healthier recipes to cook for dinner. This will not be a diet. I want to change how I live my life so that I don't allow myself to gain more weight than I already have and hopefully lose pounds and inches. Right now, I am in the mid-to-high 160s and I am utterly ashamed of that. I am 42" around the bust, 41" at my belly button and 24" on my thighs.

I find it sort of sickening that the "perfect measurements" would have someone's waist as large as one of my thighs. I don't consider myself to be *that* fat to where I could house two ideal women's torsos in my legs. I'm not saying there is something inherently wrong with my body--sure, I need to get back to a healthy weight, but there are very few things WRONG with my body, TYVM--I'm saying that society is inherently wrong for expecting *women* (not girls, mind you) to be that emaciated. So, I'm going to change my lifestyle for me. Not for society, not to be like my skinny family, friends, coworkers or acquaintances, and not for my husband. (For posterity's sake, I want to make it clear that my husband is amazing and loves me no matter what size I am and thinks I am beautiful already...he had to crash a pretty big pity party when I saw those pictures, so I wanted to make sure no one thought he was pressuring me to lose weight. He is supporting me and will be exercising with me, but this is all me.)

We went walking for 20 minutes today. The workout week goes Monday-Sunday, so it won't count toward my goal, but I wanted to start working on my improvements today. I was going to mow the lawn tonight as well, but I've spent most of today nursing the sunburn and the little time I've spent with a shirt on has irritated it. I know I can legally go topless in Ohio as long as I don't cause a nuisance, but I think me mowing the lawn topless would create a considerable nuisance. So, the lawn will have to wait until my burn is less severe. Thank God for amazing husbands who slather aloe on their wives' backs every few hours, even when they have a law school paper due next week.